Dis is Awizona

I'm posting because Baywee is grounded wight now. It serves to wight too. Sometimes dis dog ob mine, oh, did you know dat Baywee is my dog?? Dis is da truth too! I was here first and Mommie adopted Baywee for me! If Baywee eber says different den you know what da truth is cause I've been wif mommie since 1996. Dat is a wong time!! Baywee wasn't eben born until 2001, she's a baby compared to me!

Anyway, wet me tell you what dis dog ob mine did. We were sleeping, dat is, me and mommie was sweeping, which was logical because it was 1:00am and dat is what we do at night!! Baywee got out ob bed because she likes to eat in da middle ob da night. Dat's fine, but what isn't fine is if Baywee does something wrong! Well, wast night we were woken up to all sorts ob noise, den mommie had to jump out ob our nice warm bed and go investigate and do you know what she found???

Baywee and her keekat got into da linen cabinet!! Da door was open a widdle bit so dat keekat got in and Baywee followed. I guess dat Baywee was trying to pway (she hasn't said yet, she's still pouting on dat wubseat ob hers dat I can't get on) and between her and dat kat, dey pulled off stuff from da first two shelves. Mommie was weally mad and she yelled at dat bad dog ob mine!! She told Baywee to get to bed straight away and she eben spanked her once on dat big butt ob hers! Den mommie jammed dat stuff back up onto da shelves and came back to bed. Tonight when mommie gets home from work she will hab to fix it all back again da wite way. Dat is just extra work for mommie so she's kinda crabby at Baywee right now.

I was just a good girl since I can't eben get out ob bed. Dere are some benefits to being old and not being able to see!

I hab to run for now... I hab to go laugh at Baywee.

Your pal,

Awizona

Dis was our Fanksgiving

I fink dat it's okay if I come out now!! I don't fink dat mommie is mad at me anymore!! Dis is what happened. Well, you know, our turkey fwiend, Frank, was in da fridge... Well, while mommie was busy doing stuff me an Awi decided to take Frank out ob da fridge and pway wif him. We pushed him out and he crashed to da ground. I don't know if you know dis, but Frank was dead!! Dis was no live turkey! Now dis explains why he didn't hab any feathers! Me an Awi were worried dat Mommie was going to bwame dat keekat ob mine for dis murder, so we decided to take Frank out back and bury him!! Dis was no easy job either!! he was a big fat turkey!! After we got him all buried, mommie cam wooking for us. Well, she was wooking for Frank really, not us... She said dat it was Frank's turn to go into dis hot oben fingie and dere was no Frank around!! Dis is not good!! No one told us dat we were going to be eating dis dead bird!!

Well, Awi finally gabe up da goods and she showed mommie where we buried Frank. Dis is da problem dough.. She told mommie dat I, ME, BAYWEE dis dis deed!! I had wots ob help dough! So much for cooking dis big fat bird, so mommie weft us at home and she went to da neighbor's house to hab Fanksgiving dinner. She said dat dere dogs were smart enough to know NOT to bury dinner in da backyard. Hmm I would wike to see dat dough. I'm sure dat ebery dog around would hab done what I did!!

I don't fink dat we should eat birds anyway! What did dey eber do to us??

I need to run now - mommie is cooking chicken in dat crockpot fingie and I wanna be around to get some weftobers!!

Your pal

Baywee

the friend to all birds

Unca Ray emailed me!!

Dis is what he said:



Baywee,

I wanted to take a moment to say thank you for everyone’s prayers and thoughts. Even though we far away in Baghdad Iraq it is nice that people are thinking of us. I hope that everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving. We just took this photo as we are out running calls.

God bless,

Raymond

Unca Raymond is on da weft hand side in da white shirt. And behind him is one ob dere big firetrucks! I don't know who da ober guy is because Unca Raymond forgot to tell me!! Unca Raymond, who is your fwiend? Can I wide on your firetruck?

I miss you, so if you can, just cwose your eyes and imagine dis: A great big, wet, slobbery, Baywee bully kiss. Now run!! Hurry! You need a towel afer one ob my kisses! At least dat is what ober people say!

Happy Fanksgiving!! Eat wots ob food! Can you see da Broncos pway today?

Lub,

Your best neices

Baywee and Ari

Happy Fanksgiving, Unca Raymond and eberybody serving our Country!!

Dis is Baywee and Awi. We know dat ebery body knows dat Fanksgiving is just two days away. We want to wish Unca Raymond and eberybody dat serves our country a happy, happy Fanksgiving!! We hope dat they get their fill ob wots ob good foods and get to see da Broncos beat da Cowboys. (Go Broncos!!) We hope for a quiet day in Iraq so dat our good friends, All Americans everywhere, can take dis one day and relax wifout a wot ob stress!!

We would wub to see da comment section full up from fwiends wishing wubed ones a good Fanksgibing




Eat hardy and gibe fanks!

Your pals,

Baywee and Awi

My keekat did not do dis!!!!

Wast night I saw our turkey!! Dis turkey ob mine was in da fridge and when I wooked at him I saw dat he didn't hab any clothes on!! not eben one feather!! Toby had noffin to do wif dis terrible crime!! I tried to push dis turkey, but he was rock solid hard just wike a bully!! I asked mommie and she told me not to worry - she said dat she was going to put him in da sink to warm him up and den she would dress him. I'm a widdle concerned about him being in da fridge dough. What if he catches a cold and sneezes in my cottage cheese?? Do you fink dat turkeys wike cottage cheese? He might eat it too!! Den I wouldn't hab any cottage cheese anymore!! Dis is not a good fing at all!!

Me an Awi habn't named our turkey yet. Our friend Susan said dat most people name dere turkeys "delicious," but we fink dat we might just name ours Frank. We put some toys just outside da fridge so dat maybe Frank will come out and pway wif us while mommie is at work today.

Your pal,

Baywee

Did eberybudy get a turkey yet???

Mommie says dat Turkeys are invited to dinner on Thursday. She didn't tell me what they like to eat, but she did tell me dat dey would be da hit ob da day and ebery will want to celebrate da day wif a widdle turkey. I fink dats very nice dat eberybody wikes turkey dat much!! I hope dat you remember to take him on a walk after dinner. Walks are always good for walking off all dat good food!! It just helps to make room for more!! I fink dat dis is a very nice fing dat everyone is doing for turkeys!! I don't hab a name for mine yet, but i am still finking on it!!

Happy "invite a turkey to dinner day!"

waff

Baywee, the yellow flower bulldog

I don't fink dat dis is very funny!!!!

Okay - who's da funny guy??? Mommie said dat she didn't do dis!! I woke up dis morning and someone had weft dis feather in my bed!!

Dis is a genuine turkey feather!! Dere is a turkey out dere dat is walking around wif one less feather!! Dis just isn't right!! Mommie suggested dat we tape dis feather to my butt and put me outside wif a sign dat said "Happy Fanksgiving" but I don't fink dats a very good idea!! Someone might weally fink dat I'm a turkey!!

Maybe dey meant dis turkey feather for Awi... She is kinda chubby...

*waff

Hurry Christmas, hurry fast!!!

Buttercup "I am not a turkey" Baywee

Who is dis cute widdle bully???

Wook at dis cute widdle face!! Who woulda thunk dat dis bully would grow up to be a skateboarding star!!

Widdle tiny newborn Hattie Wook at dat cute widdle puppy!

Wook at dis! Widdle Hattie is already working on cruising speed! She's wearning to walk!!


Wook at dis face! And wook at dose cute widdle paws! Don't you just want to kiss dose widdle paws and dat cute widdle face!?!


Dis is one tiny widdle sweepy baby!! And who's dis girl taking a shower??

So, what does dis beautiful girl wook wike now???

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HATTIE!!

I hope dat you got wots ob toys and some ice cream and all dat birfday stuff!!

Your bestest buddy,

Baywee

I met another Baywee!!!

I habe a twin out dere!!!


I fought dat I was da only baywee out dere! Dat's what mommie always tells me! She says "Baywee, God broke da mold when you were born" So I was finking dat there isn't another Baywee anywhere, but I found one and dis was a big surprise to me!!

Me an mommie went to petsmart and I was just wooking around wike I always do. Den dere was dis wady and her girl and dey were wooking at da birds and hamsters. Da wady says "come on, Baywee, we gotta go" so I turned around cause dis is my name. Well, dis widdle girl got up and started walking!! Dis two wegger has my name!! Mommie stopped and talked to dem so dat I could scope dis out and see what dis widdle Baywee was all about! We were so alike!!! She was four, I'll be four in a few weeks (pwease don't forget my birfday. Mommie says dat I'm a big baby, but don't forget anyway!!!) anyway, she was four, and she had dese cute widdle spots all ober her face. She's got freckles!!! I hab freckles!!! Dis was just amazing!! We were almost twins cept that she was short a couple ob wegs and she didn't hab my cute widdle nose!


Can you imagine dat dere could be two Baywee's in dis world?? Mommie said dat there isn't eben enough room for one Baywee in dis world on some days!!


On more fing - I heard dat my ober twin, Hattie had a birfday! She's my twin too!! I'm going to post a picture ob her! She's such a good girl! She's eben trying to help me figure out how to do dat gobble-gobble fingie!! She knows how to skate board too!! We saw video ob her! She's weally good!!

Your hungry, hurryupthanksgivingandgetherefast, pal

Baywee

Do I wook wike a turkey???

Mommie just said dat Thanksgiving is coming up and I get to be da turkey. I fink dat she must be joking me 'cause I'm not a turkey! I'm a bully! I eben tried to gobble, but all I got was a growlie bark kind of fing.

I don't fink dat any bully can be a turkey, but I'm not an expert on dis matter. Mommie's pretty smart and knows a wot ob fings, but I fink dat in dis case she needs to get her eyes checked!!

Why would mommie want me to be a turkey anyway??

I don't understand why she keeps wooking at me and waffin.


Your bestest buddy,

Baywee

Gobble, gobble, gobble!!

*waff

It wasn't me!!!!

Dis was all dat Stinker keekat ob mine!!! I tried to tell my keekat dat dis was a weally bad idea and dat mommie wouldn't appreciate a gift wike dis! I also told him dat SANTA was watching, but he's a young keekat and he doesn't understand dat whole Santa fing yet. Eber dat, or he just doesn't want wots ob good fings on Christmas morning!!

So, now you're probably wondering what all dis excitement is about, right?? Well, dis is what happened: Some keecat caught a bird fingie (I don't know how he did it, I just know dat dis part is a fact ob life. Toby caught a widdle birdie!!) and instead ob pwaying wif his new widdle fwiend outside, he brought him in da house!!! Den he pondered where da best pwace to pway wif his new friend and he decided to take him into MOMMIE'S ROOM!! I told him dat dis was a weally bad idea!! I told him dat mommie would discover dis, but Toby just didn't wisten to me!!

By da time Mommie got home dere was a murder in our house!! Dis widdle bird didn't stand a chance against Toby's hunting skills!! Mommie was tired and she was walking down da hallway to her room and she found it. Dere was dis whole feather explosion!!! First she was going to bwame it on me!! She fought dat I got her feather pillow or down comforter. Well, dis was just pwain wrong!! I was a good girl!! Den mommie wooked closer and discovered dat deese feathers came from somefin dat was alive!! Den she knew dat dis was da work ob Toby!! Toby eben watched Mommie discover dis whole mess and do you know what he did??? He just smiled!! He was proud ob dis fine work ob his!!!

Mommie had to vacumn and vacumn to get wid of Toby's whole mess. She was very crabby and I was very happy dat I had nofin to do wif dis whole fing!!! Mommie didn't see dis widdle bird's body anywhere. We still hab to check some areas where we know dat Toby hides.

I learned two fings from dis whole mess:

1. Mommie doesn't wike us to bring home presents den kill dem in her room
2. Dis bird didn't die from da flu!!

Me an Awi had nuffin to do wif dis whole fing and we're not taking da fall for it eber!!

Toby is still smiling dough. Dis is not a smart keekat!

Your pal and very good bully,

Baywee

My mommie just sent me dis email

What is up wif her??? I don't wike da rules part for me, but I do wike da rules part for all da people dat come to see us!! Now dey will know dat it's my house!! :)

Your pal,

Baywee


Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest .

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years-canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.


The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain about Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)

3. I like my pets a lot better than most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. Dogs and cats are better than kids...they eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hangout with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for college - and if they get pregnant, you can sell the children.

It's been a weally wong week!!!

Sorry I haben't posted, but dis has been a wong week. First it was Halloween and I twied weally hard to see all dose cute widdle kid costumes. Dat was a wot ob fun. I decided dat Halloween is a weally good holiday. People know dat I live in my house and so when dey go trick or treating, den day always stop at my house and deliver tweets!! Dis works out just fine because mommie says dat me and Awi aren't allowed to go trick or treating. She said somefin about it being just a widdle kid rule. I need to check dat rule book out an see what it says!!

Awi was sick dis week too. Dis was not a good fing cause she was barfin and she just didn't feel good at all. Mommie weft Awi home wif me in charge. Dis was a wot ob work. Now I know what it's wike to be a mommie!! I kept weally close to her and when she sneezed I made sure dat I wiped her cute widdle puggie nose. She seems to be feeling better now. Today is Saturday, so mommie rewarded me for all my hard babysitting work. I got to go to Petsmart and wook at all da Christmas stuff. I eben got to get my nails cut. I wub getting my nails cut!! I picked out some new bones for me an Awi. We each got dis fing called a knee bone. I don't fink dat it came from anyone's leg dough!!

Da ober fing dat mommie is trying to figure out is Christmas cards. She says dat it's almost dat time ob year again. Mommie wants to take pictures in da snow. I don't know dough, mommie doesn't hab to stand barefooted in da snow. I'm going to hab to fink about dis one!!!

Now I gotta go chew on my bone before Awi puts it under da desk wif hers!!

Your pal,

Baywee


PS It's starting to snow!! Dey didn't eben tell us on TB dat it was going to snow today!!