I can't bewieve I did dis!!!

I'm so embarrassed dat I'm not eben sure if I should tell anyone dis!! First, wet me say dat dis was a total accident!! It wasn't weally my fault at all and I neber meant for it to happen!! Now, here's a warning - If you don't wike hearing about the barf word, den stop reading wight now!! Weally!! Dis is da stopping pwace!!


Okay, now dat I hab da west of you. Here is da deal. I always eat my dinner after bedtime.
Mommie fills up my bowl before we go to bed, den somewhere around 1 or 2 am I get up and go eat. Mommie always says dat it's a bad habit dat I picked up from where I used to wive, but dat it's not bad enough dat it needs to be broken. She's refinking dat thought dough!! Wast night I got up just wike I always do and I went into da kitchen to eat. Oh, did I mention dat mommie eben weaves da radio on so dat I hab company when I eat?? She calls it "ambience" I asked for candles too, but she said "Maybe at your next house." Whateber dat means!!

I ate a nice meal while I listened to some songs, den I took myself outside. Afterwards I went to bed. Now, here is da bad part. When I got into bed and I started to burrow under the covers I did it. I just wooked ober at mommie who was sweeping so peaceful wike... And I... I can't beweive dat I did dis...

I BARFED ALL OBER MOMMIE!!!! Dis is da person dat feeds me and takes me for car wides!!!

Man, you shoulda saw her jump out ob bed!!! *waff She didn't know what hit her!! First she wan into da baffroom and stripped, den she came back and wooked at da damage and discovered dat I had caused it. She knew wight away it wasn't Awi, cause Awi swept frew dis whole drama! I shoulda wayed down and pretended to sweep!! I fink dat mommie said somefing about "Baywee, in da morning I'm trading you in on a hamster or somefin." I don't fink dat she meant it dough.
We couldn't finish out our night sweeping in our bed, so mommie went ober and picked up Awi and we went into da ober room and crawled into bed.

Wook, in my defense - mommie needed to wash da sheets anyway. She didn't do it ober da weekend (boy did I wuck out about dat!!!) so now's a good time to do it!! And besides, we wub fresh cwean sheets.

I fink dat I'm going to try to be a weally good girl today cause I don't want to be replaced by a hamster!! I fink dat mommie is ober it now, but I decided dat I'm not going to ask. No sense bringing up bad feelings again!!

It wasn't my fault. Dis is my story and I'm sticking to it!!!

I am a good girl (mostly - sometimes... once maybe!!!)

Your pal,

Baywee da barfer
(pwease don't twy dis at home, boys and girls. It'll only get you into trouble!!)