We are getting dis all figured out!!

Dis whole fing of habing a keekat isn't so hard after all if you just wook for da benefits!! It turns out dat toby eats good food!! I wike good food! Dis is no coincidence!! Mommie is twying to figure out a way to feed Toby and not feed me. I don't wike dis very much!!! Tonight she put da food on da dining room table. What in da world was she finking??? I am Baywee!!! My nickname is "Yertle the Turtle" and tables mean nuffin to me!! I sit on da table on da deck all ob da time when I'm outside. Why would she fink dat if she put somefing good on da dining room table dat I wouldn't be able to figure dat out. She was mad at me, but I waffed at her. I wike eating!! Dis was no contest at all!! Besides, what Awi did was eben worse den me!! Awi got a tweet out ob da keekat tweet box!! Mommie said dat it's NOT A TWEET, but Awi seemed to wike dat crunchy taste!! Wook at Awi - She's a very round Pug. I fink dat Awi would know if somefing was good or not. She is a pretty chubby girl, but she wikes it better if we just call her "fluffy." Wike dat's going to make a difference!

Toby is pretty fun to pway wif too. He has his own widdle toys dat he wikes to pway wif He has a widdle mouse dat he wikes to chase. I watch, den when he's busy chasing his mouse, den I chase him. It's a wotta fun!! Dat keecat can run!!

Now dis is da best reason for eber habing a keekat: Bwame. Dis is how it works. I was busy in da bedroom shredding up a toy. It was a fluff explosion. Da keekat was sitting in da room too, den mommie walked in and she said "BAYWEE!!!" and I said no, no no!! Dis wasn't me!! I am picking it up!! Dis was my keekat!!! Toby gabe me an ebil eye, but I fink dat mommie bought it!! Dis is good! Imagine da possibilities!!

Oh, Toby is learning to chase da backyard squirrel!! He eben told me dat he found out where da backyard squirrel's hideout is!! We might try a mission to rescue Mr Blue Bear! Mommie says no way, dat we won't eben want him anymore, but how would we know dat wifout eben asking Mr Blue Bear? I fink dat we should at least ask if he wants to come home!! We are trying to figure dis whole fing out!!

We are busy watching college football today. We wub football!! Dis is a fun game! I would wike to try to pway it some day. I wike dat whole tackling fingie. I'm going to practice so dat next time Jay is home den I'm taking him down!!

Your pal,Baywee

Dere weally is a Santa Claus!!!

Santa weft me a message on my wast post!! He must be weal cause he signed it "Santa Claus" and who would do dat except Santa?? Just wike I sign my name Baywee cause I'm Baywee. That is proof wight dere!!

Dear Santa - I am being a very good bully. I was weally nice to Awi wast night and I didn't do anyfing bad wike barfing on mommie (and waffin) or anyfing!! I am a good girl!!

Now can I write out my Christmas wist?

I want a skateboard just wike my fwiend Hatties!! Did you see her on it? She's a very
athletic!! I bet dat she could go weally fast on dat fing!!

I would also wike to hab my own container ob ice cream just wike Caesar has. My mommie always puts ice cream in a bowl, but if I had da whole container den I could eat da ice cream and tear up the container too!

Den how about gibing me a big family wike Muddy has. Dat would be weally fun if I had wots ob dogs around.

And could I hab my own pony wike Lisa's pups hab?

Den can I hab Zeus, Theo and Caesar?

Oh, and a car cause mommie won't wet me drib hers.

And I hab more to ask for, but I better stop for now cause mommie is gibing me dat ebil eye fingie right now!!

Your pal, and very good girl,

Baywee

Bad Girl, Arizona!!!

Mommie told me dat Santa's watching and so I better figure out how to be a good girl. There must be some way to cheat!!


Last night while mommie was playin on the laptop, widdle Awi was waying under da widdle desk wif her suckie toy.
She was twying to sweep. Since I couldn't get Awi to pway wif me den all I had was me to amuse myself. Dat's neber a good idea and I tried to tell mommie dat!! Anyway, I managed to squeeze my big butt under da bed and I crawled up to da head ob da bed. Den I very carefuly unwedged the baseboard from the wall. Once it was unwedged den it was just a matter ob gibing it a great big tug. Da hard part was dragging it out from under da bed so dat I could habe a nice big place to stretch out and eat it.
Mommie said dat eating baseboard is always a bad idea. I fink dat if Awi had been paying attention to me instead ob her suckie toy den I would hab been plwaying instead of chewing up baseboard.

AWI!! You're in big trubble!!! SANTA'S WATCHING!!! You really should be keeping a better eye on me (eben dough your blind an eberyfing. Dat's no excuse for not babysitting me!!!)
Dis is my story and I hab to stick to it. Want to know why??? Well it's cause Mommie made a note and she put it on my lubseat and it says "Dis spot reserved for hamsters" Dis is NOT funny!!! I fought dat hamsters were da ober white meat. Dey aren't pets!! Dey are rodents!!

I hab to go be good now!!

Santa's watching (is mommie twicking me?? Hello? Santa? Are you out there?)

Your pal,

Baywee

I can't bewieve I did dis!!!

I'm so embarrassed dat I'm not eben sure if I should tell anyone dis!! First, wet me say dat dis was a total accident!! It wasn't weally my fault at all and I neber meant for it to happen!! Now, here's a warning - If you don't wike hearing about the barf word, den stop reading wight now!! Weally!! Dis is da stopping pwace!!


Okay, now dat I hab da west of you. Here is da deal. I always eat my dinner after bedtime.
Mommie fills up my bowl before we go to bed, den somewhere around 1 or 2 am I get up and go eat. Mommie always says dat it's a bad habit dat I picked up from where I used to wive, but dat it's not bad enough dat it needs to be broken. She's refinking dat thought dough!! Wast night I got up just wike I always do and I went into da kitchen to eat. Oh, did I mention dat mommie eben weaves da radio on so dat I hab company when I eat?? She calls it "ambience" I asked for candles too, but she said "Maybe at your next house." Whateber dat means!!

I ate a nice meal while I listened to some songs, den I took myself outside. Afterwards I went to bed. Now, here is da bad part. When I got into bed and I started to burrow under the covers I did it. I just wooked ober at mommie who was sweeping so peaceful wike... And I... I can't beweive dat I did dis...

I BARFED ALL OBER MOMMIE!!!! Dis is da person dat feeds me and takes me for car wides!!!

Man, you shoulda saw her jump out ob bed!!! *waff She didn't know what hit her!! First she wan into da baffroom and stripped, den she came back and wooked at da damage and discovered dat I had caused it. She knew wight away it wasn't Awi, cause Awi swept frew dis whole drama! I shoulda wayed down and pretended to sweep!! I fink dat mommie said somefing about "Baywee, in da morning I'm trading you in on a hamster or somefin." I don't fink dat she meant it dough.
We couldn't finish out our night sweeping in our bed, so mommie went ober and picked up Awi and we went into da ober room and crawled into bed.

Wook, in my defense - mommie needed to wash da sheets anyway. She didn't do it ober da weekend (boy did I wuck out about dat!!!) so now's a good time to do it!! And besides, we wub fresh cwean sheets.

I fink dat I'm going to try to be a weally good girl today cause I don't want to be replaced by a hamster!! I fink dat mommie is ober it now, but I decided dat I'm not going to ask. No sense bringing up bad feelings again!!

It wasn't my fault. Dis is my story and I'm sticking to it!!!

I am a good girl (mostly - sometimes... once maybe!!!)

Your pal,

Baywee da barfer
(pwease don't twy dis at home, boys and girls. It'll only get you into trouble!!)

I fink dat I need some duct tape...

Dis is what happened in our house dis morning. Widdle Awi fell out ob our great big bed. Poor widdle Awi. She wasn't eben trying to turn off an alarm cwock or anyfing. She woke up and den she decided to move to another sweeping pwace on da bed. I don't know why she did dat cause she only sweeps in one pwace, but I guess she just wanted somefin different. I don't fink dat she wanted somefin different off da bed dough. When she fell it woke mommie up and she got up and rushed ober and turned on da wight and wan to Awi-boo-boo-head. Awi cwied a widdle bit, but mommie wooked her ober den picked her up and hugged her. Awi quit cwying den. Den mommie carried Awi ober to our bed and put her down. Awi decided dat she weally needed to be close to mommie so she swept da west ob da night half on her pillow and half on mommie's pillow.

So far dis morning she seems to be just fine. She's been saying weally close to mommie dough. I fink dats a weally good fing. It comforts her and dat's what me an mommie wike to do best. We wub widdle Awi a wot!!

Hopefully dats all da excitement we hab today!!!

Your pal,