I've been abused!!

What's da number to da bully abuse hotwine??? I hab to call dem right away!! I am an abused bully!! Dis is terrible! I need a laywer!! Dis is a serious biolation! I hab wights!! One ob my wights is to chase da back yard squirrel if I want to!

So where was mommie dis morning when I needed her??? Was she standing on da deck opening up da baby gate so dat I could get down into da back yard to do my business??? NO SHE WASN'T!! She opened da door den she turned on da TB to see da space shuttle wand (way to go space shuttle!!!!!) Meanwhile, I waited and waited and waited by da gate. Den when it was almost time for her to go to work she came do da door to call me in and she saw da situation I was in. She opened da gate and I wan my cute widdle bully butt down da stairs and did some business. Mommie stood on da deck and watched me. Where is my right to privacy??? Den after two minutes she started to call me back upstairs. She said dat she had to wook and dat I WAS MAKING HER WATE!! Dis is da person dat wocked me out ob my own backyard!! I came inside and do you know what she said??? She said: "Baywee, what is da big deal wif you? You hab a doggie door. It's not wike you don't hab access to da outside. You could go da ober way out."

Dis is just not wight! Dis backyard belogs to me!! Ob course I hab a doggie door, but fings are supposed to always be da same!! In my house in da morning before mommie goes to work she gibs us a treat (we had cottage cheese dis morning. I ate all mine and most ob Awi's) she fills our water and food dish and she opens up da back door so dat we can enjoy da nice morning before it's time for her to go to wook. I didn't eben get to sit on my chair dis morning because I was forced to sit by da babygate and try to will it to open. Our schedule was totally disrupted by dis rudness!! I don't go out da doggie door in da morning time!!! I go out da back door and down da stairs to my backyard!!

I know dat I hab a good case dis time! I'm suing for millions!! For now dough I hab to go way down on my lubseat. I'm tired after all ob dis drama!!

Your pal,

Baywee