Dis was how our morning started...

Mommie is mad!! Whateber you do, don't waff right now. Me an Awi waffed and we got da ebil eye when we waffed, so be warned! She wost her sense ob humor. She'll prolly get it back wader when her arm doesn't hurt so much dough..

Dis is da deal. Mommie sweeps in me an Awi's bed. Dis picture is da proof dat it's our bed. We wet mommie sweep in dat widdle tiny spot right beside me. Dis morning when da alarm went off (I hate dat fingie) mommie tried to roll ober and hit da button, but instead, I had pushed her ober to da edge so far dat when she rolled she... ummmm...

Mommie fell out ob bed!! *Waff*

Sorry, I forgot - Dis is not funny!!! She scrapped her arm on da bed when she fell out and she bumped her head a widdle on da table next to da bed. It's a sleigh bed and dere is a big piece ob wood dat runs along da bed. I use it sometimes to help me get up into da bed cause it's really high up!! Awi has to be picked up to get on, and picked up to get down. Awi has fallen off da bed before, so mommie is in good company.

Dis is da fing dat I just really don't get. Why doesn't mommie just buy her own bed??? I mean, me an Awi are willing to share wif her, but I hab to tell you, She whines a wot about it sometimes. She's kinda greedy and finks dat she should hab more room. If she bought her own bed den she'd hab all da room she eber wanted. Mommie said dat da solution would be to wock us out ob da bedroom and make US, ME an AWI sweep somewhere else. Dat can't happen dough. Dere is a rule about dat somewhere in my rule book!

Mommie is going to hab a big bruise today, so eberyone has to be nice to her today. After dat, den life can get back to normal.

Your pal,

Baywee
*Laff
Sorry, Dat waff just swipped out!!!

YAY for Saturdays!!

I wub Saturdays!! Ebery day should be a Saturday!! Dis morning we sat out on da deck and wistened to da backyard squirrel chattering. I fink dat he wants another one ob my toys, but I couldn't tell. I wanted to bark at him to ask him, but I got yelled at cause dere is dis no barking at 8am on a Saturday rule. Dis didn't seem fair to me, but mommie said dat we'll rummage around in my toys and put a toy out and see if he wants one.

Today is going to be a busy day at our house! . Someone has to do all dis yardwork and since me an Ari aren't big enough to cut da grass, den it means dat mommie has to do it by herself. Me an Ari are going to watch and waff dough!! We're gwad dat we don't hab to be responsible for dis kind ob stuff!!

I hab to go get my nails clipped too. I wub doin dat!! Especially now dat I've wearned how to stick my big head out da window while mommie dribes. Dis will be an adventure!!

Mommie is finally getting ober her cold. I fink dat all my hard work paid off. I'm sure dat she is feeling better cause I spent so much time taking care ob her. Mommie said dat next time could she just hab some chicken soup instead dough. She finks dat one day my help might just kill her. I weally don't fink dat I'm all dat heavy and I wike waying on mommie when she's sick. I'm sure it helps her a wot!! Maybe she just worried dat I was working too hard! I bet dat's it!!

I hab to run - We hab so much to do today!!
Your pal,

Just call me Nurse Baywee

Can you believe dis??? Mommie is sick again!! She just got ober being sick. Dis just doesn't seem fair at all!! Mommie woke up wif a weally bad cold yesterday. Dat should be against da law! I'm going to check my rule book for dis. I don't fink dat anyone should hab to wake up sick on a Sunday. We didn't get to go for a walk or eben go bye-bye in the car. I didn't wike dis one bit!!

I always get worried when mommie gets sick so I wike to be wight by her all da time, den when she falls asweep den I stretch out on top ob her. Mommie keeps telling me dat dis kind ob medicine just doesn't work for her, but I don't believe her. She feels a wot warmer when I'm waying on her. I eben had to do CPR wast night. When I wasn't wight on top ob mommie, den I was wight beside her wif my face in hers. Mommie said dat her nose was weally stuffy and I was twying to wook to see what it was stuffed wif. I kept gibing her all my air cause I had pwenty and she sounded wike she was struggling to breath. Mommie said dat she was struggling cause I'm heavy and cause she wasn't getting any fwesh air. I'm weally not dat heavy dough. Wike, I'm not as heavy as a hummer, or an airpwane, or eben a house. I'm just as heavy as a bulldog and dats not hevy at all. I carry me around all da time!

Mommie had to go to work today. I am hoping dat she comes home so dat I can take care ob her some more.

Your Pal,

Baywee

Work tires me out!!

Dis is Baywee. I'be been very busy today watching mommie work!! Wight now I am observing all dis activity from my wubseat. I'm wooking out da front window, watching as mommie pushes some big nosy fing all ober our front yard. She calls it a "mower" but I fink I would call it a "monster." It wooks wike it chops up eberyfing in it's sight!! I hope dat da front yard bunnies don't get in da way ob dis big monster!! Mommie said dat I could wearn how do work dis monster when I get older, but I decided dat she can be da only one in dis house dat knows how to do it. I only hab four feet and I'm afwaid dat I might woose one. I'm not feeding dat monster!!

When mommie comes in from doing all dis work I'm going to ask her for new, fwesh water. I wike my water weally cold wif ice in it. All my ice has melted and I'm a widdle firsty after wooking at all dis work stuff going on!!

Your pal,

Baywee

It's Wednesday!!

And I'm wishing dat it was Saturday!! Mommie says dat you can tell dat fall is in the air. We're getting some cold breezes and it's darker in the morning when we wake up. I am habing da hardest time waking up in da morning time. Just cause mommie has to get up to go to work den why does dat mean dat Baywee has to get up?? Mommie says dat she just wikes to see me in da morning cause it starts her day out wight. I fink dat it's ebery bullys wight to sweep in. Mommie waffs at my somefin she calls my "Baywee wiggle butt" as I wun up da stairs. I don't exactly fink dat dis is funny at 5:30 in da morning. Mommie says to wighten up and get a sense ob humor, Baywee. Instead though, I go find my wubseat.

Awi is doing much better now!! Fank you to eberybody who asked about my bestest sister. Her front, cute widdle puggie wegs seem to be doing much better now. I fink dat da cold air still hurts dem a widdle bit though, but Awi is a twooper.

Now here's another wandom thought!! I should hab believed Awi when she told me dat mommie was twicking me!! It's TWUE!! She is twicking me!! Mommie did a dumb fing wast night (typical mommie stuff dough!!) She weft out da container ob cottage cheese so she had to frow it away. So dis morning she gabe us some cheese and guess what I found???? I found a PILL!! Mommie's been swipping me pills!! Dis is an outrage!! I need to check my rule book to see how dis can be allowed!!

Well, Awi is eyein my wubseat, so I need to run and save it from her!! Dis is Baywee's wubseat!

Your Pal,

Baywee

I told mommie dat it is in my contract dat I be allowed to hab access to da outside anytime I want it. Dat is why she has to weave da back door open so dat I can sit just inside da door and watch all dis cold waining weather! And it's also why I get to stick my head out ob da window eben on cold days! We habe da heat on so it doesn't weally matter anyway. :)

So dat's been our weekend so far! Awi said dat she's alweady feeling much better after wewaxing all day. She's not telling mommie dough cause she wikes dat I'm getting dat ebil eye fingie still!!

Your pal,

Baywee

Dis is not my fault!!!

You know dat I'm a good girl!! I wub mommie wots!!! I always do my bestest to be a good girl and I neber, neber get into any... much.. well just a widdle bit ob trouble!!

Dis is da fing... I haben't been able to post in a few days because Awi didn't feel good. I kept getting dose ebil eye wooks from my mommie wike it was my fault dat Awi didn't feel good!! I didn't weally cause anyfing to happen! Well, it wasn't my fault anyway!!

Wast Thursday me an Awi were pwaying. Awi doesn't pway bery often, so when she does, den I hab to take advantage ob dis situation! Me an Awi got into a big tug 'o war game and eben dough I know dat I'm way bigger and stronger den Awi, I also know dat I hab to be careful to not dwag her through da house and all dose fings wike dat. Anyway, we pwayed and we eben wrassled on da ground biting on each ober. We got weally carried away wif pwaying and finally mommie said it was enough!! It was time for bed so we had to quit. Well, when Awi woke up wast Friday morning she could barely eben stand. Her poor widdle fwont wegs just didn't want to hold her up!! I know dat I didn't bite her berry hard, but I sure pulled her hard!! She had her brakes on a wot. I had to weally dwag her. Mommie wubbed and wubbed on Awi's wegs and she kept gibing me dat ebil wook. Awi hurt pretty bad on Friday. She did a widdle better wast night, but den it got all cold and waining out. Eben today, da weather was bery cold. It was 51 degrees and it was waining a wot. Awi didn't complain much cause she neber does!! Mommie's been gibing her medicine to make da pain feel better.

Awi eben missed her pug meet up dis morning. She was mad at me! She said dat it was my fault and dat I pwayed to hard on purpose just so dat she couldn't go see her fwiends and DWIVE mommies car again!! Dis is not true!! I did not do dis so dat Awi couldn't dwibe mommie's car! (but I do hab to admit it's a nice side effect. Don't tell mommie or Awi dough!!!) Mommie said no Pug meetup because she was worried at Awi would ober due.

So since Awi couldn't go, dis is how we spent out day. We were wazy. We spent all afternoon waying on da couch. We eben lit up a fire in da firepwace!! Awi wikes feeling da warm from da fire. She wayed up close to it. Mommie sad dat her wegs prolly wiked feeling all warm!

Also dis afternoon mommie and I wan an errand. Mommie finished up a library book and she needed to return it and pick up another dat was ready for us to pick up. I wub going on car wides! On mommie's side ob da car she had her window wolled all da way up and she also had da heat on (it weally was a widdle chilly out) and on my side - well, my big ole bully head was stickin out da window cause dats how I wike dribing!!

Dis is me weavin dat library fingie I was telling you about!

I told mommie dat it is in my contract dat I be allowed to hab access to da outside anytime I want it. Dat is why she has to weave da back door open so dat I can sit just inside da door and watch all dis cold waining weather! And it's also why I get to stick my head out ob da window eben on cold days! We habe da heat on so it doesn't weally matter anyway. :)

So dat's been our weekend so far! Awi said dat she's alweady feeling much better after wewaxing all day. She's not telling mommie dough cause she wikes dat I'm getting dat ebil eye fingie still!!

Your pal,

Baywee

I've been abused!!

What's da number to da bully abuse hotwine??? I hab to call dem right away!! I am an abused bully!! Dis is terrible! I need a laywer!! Dis is a serious biolation! I hab wights!! One ob my wights is to chase da back yard squirrel if I want to!

So where was mommie dis morning when I needed her??? Was she standing on da deck opening up da baby gate so dat I could get down into da back yard to do my business??? NO SHE WASN'T!! She opened da door den she turned on da TB to see da space shuttle wand (way to go space shuttle!!!!!) Meanwhile, I waited and waited and waited by da gate. Den when it was almost time for her to go to work she came do da door to call me in and she saw da situation I was in. She opened da gate and I wan my cute widdle bully butt down da stairs and did some business. Mommie stood on da deck and watched me. Where is my right to privacy??? Den after two minutes she started to call me back upstairs. She said dat she had to wook and dat I WAS MAKING HER WATE!! Dis is da person dat wocked me out ob my own backyard!! I came inside and do you know what she said??? She said: "Baywee, what is da big deal wif you? You hab a doggie door. It's not wike you don't hab access to da outside. You could go da ober way out."

Dis is just not wight! Dis backyard belogs to me!! Ob course I hab a doggie door, but fings are supposed to always be da same!! In my house in da morning before mommie goes to work she gibs us a treat (we had cottage cheese dis morning. I ate all mine and most ob Awi's) she fills our water and food dish and she opens up da back door so dat we can enjoy da nice morning before it's time for her to go to wook. I didn't eben get to sit on my chair dis morning because I was forced to sit by da babygate and try to will it to open. Our schedule was totally disrupted by dis rudness!! I don't go out da doggie door in da morning time!!! I go out da back door and down da stairs to my backyard!!

I know dat I hab a good case dis time! I'm suing for millions!! For now dough I hab to go way down on my lubseat. I'm tired after all ob dis drama!!

Your pal,

Baywee

Just call me "Miss July"

Wook at dis!! I made da Bulldogsworld 2006 calendar!! Dis is da sample photo ob me being "Miss July!"
If you wanna wook at da whole calendar and see all da bully pictures den just wook at dis wink and you'll see me and ober bullies by cwicking on da wink dat says "view Calendar Pages" http://www.cafepress.com/bulldogsworld.27474158 den at da bottom just click on each month to see all da bullies.

And here is da wink too all ob da 2006 calendars: http://www.cafepress.com/bulldogsworld/374840

See Mommie!! I told you dat I'd make somefin
outta myself! I'm not just dead weight on da wubseat! I am MISS JULY!

*Waff

Your pal,

Baywee

Wazy Sunday Morning

Wooks wike a perfect day for sweeping on da deck. Mommie has to finish working in da yard and I decided dat I can help by watching and waffin at her. Awi said dat she's going to help waff too, but usually she just tattles on me, so I'm going to wait and see if she weally does waff. I've been watching for da backyard squirrel, but he hasn't been around for da past two days. Or maybe he's not around cause mommie makes sure dat all my toys are picked up. Dat could be it too!! Mommie was busy shooing away Killer and Brutus, our yard bunnies, yesterday. She put down somefin called "weed and feed" and she didn't want da bunnies to get hurt. I offered to sit out in da front yard and protect it wif my own killer instincts, but I got da ebil eye. Mommie said dat I don't hab a killer instinct in my whole body 'ceptin maybe for my imagination. I don't know about dat dough. I watched Rambo before. I could do dat!! I just know I could! All I need is to wear my bandana around my forhead 'stead ob my neck!! Mommie said dat it wouldn't work dough. She said dat I'm too big a baby 'specially since I don't eben wike sweeping out in da wilderness and can't eben sweep on da deck. Well, I proved her wrong!! I swept on da deck today! Dat was hard and now I'm going to go hit da wub seat! I can watch Killer and Brutus from da window. Dis bully needs comfort!!! I don't fink dat dere is a fing wrong wif a double pillowtop bed, big fluffy lubseat or my chair on da deck! I'll just take my comforts ob home when I pway Rambo!!

Your Pal,

Baywee

It's cold and waining

I wike da wain when it's a nice quick storm and fings get back to normal. I don't wike da wain when it poors all day (and night) wong!! When it wains wike dis den me an mommie hab to fight about fings. I can't go out to da deck and sit on my favorite chair because it's all wet so I do da next best fing. I sit in da doorway and wook outside and watch it wain. Dis is where da fight is. Mommie wants da door cwosed and I want it open. Dis morning she did weave it open for me for a few minutes before she said "enough, Baywee, all dis cold and wet is getting into da house." So I had to back it up and go way on my wubseat instead. I fink dat I'm going to stay da whole day on my wubseat today!! I wish mommie was home wif us so that she could start a fire in da fireplace and snuggle in wif us. We hab to make due wifout her.

Dat is all dere is from wainy Parker, Colorado!!



Quack, Quack,

Baywee

Wook at dis rare breed of wild backyard squirrel!!!!

First time ever seen in public!!!! Come one, come all! Leave your quarter at the door and step inside to see this one of a kind, rare, dangerous, trapped tree rat!!! Never seen before!! You should see his teeff!! Don't get too close dough - Dey bite hard! Be prepared. If you need medical assistance it will be provided to you. If you've ever had a heart attack den you prolly shouldn't be wooking at dese graphic photos!! You've been warned!

Oh wait, nebber mind!!



Mommie says dat it's a keekat. Probably ob da common variety, but we neber seen him before in da neighborhood. Mommie also told me dat I better git off da fence before someone calls da police to say dat she superglued me too it.

Don't mind her though. I don't.

Do you see what a cutie pie I am standing on my tippy toes? No wonder mommie keeps me eben when I've been a moster wike tonight.

PS, no refunds. You paid - It's mine

Wub, your pal,

Baywee