Phantom of da WHAT????

I wub movie nights!! Mommie puts in a movie and she shares popcorn wif us. Sometimes da movie is quiet (mom calls it suspense filled silence) and sometimes she waffs (dats called a comedy.) Tonight's movie was different den we've eber seen! Mom called it a "Opera." Phantom ob da Opera to be exact!! Mom wubs dis Phantom guy. She eben has deese people's, I fink dat day are called Actors, autographs or somfin, from da off broadway production in a city called San Francisco. I fink dat is a pwace dat is swiding into the ocean, but I'm getting swidetwaked now.

First we started da movie in da family room, but no one could agree on who got to sit on mommie's lap. Awi got dere first, but, well, I'm a bully. I have 60 lbs of muscle and I just push her ober cause I want mommies wap. Den momie says "wook at all dat couch wif no one sitting on it." She eben twies to go sit on da ober end, but we're smarter den dat. We don't want da empty couch. We want da lap part of da couch and dat only happens when mommie sits down.

All of diss ends up irritating mom cause she doesn't want wap sitters, she wants movie watchers and she says dat she can't see awound my big, fat head (I know dat she don't mean dat dough. I see my head in mirrors a wot and it's berry nice.) So den we go to bed and watch. Dis way mom finks dat we can just way beside her. We all got into bed, well, all ob us but da popcorn. Mom won't wet popcorn in da bed and so she says dat it's all our fault dat we don't get anymore popcorn (I fink dats Awi's fault). Awi wayed down and started snoring wight away and da movie started.

ACK!!!!

It made me wanna cwy!! I fought dat there was somfin wrong wif da magic box!! I heard dis horrible noise coming out of it!!!! Mom said "Baywee, don't be a sissy. It's just singing." Now wisten here. I know singing, and dat wasn't singing!! Dere was dis wady who sounded wike she was cwying in dis high pitched scweam. Awi just swept wight frew it!! I can't believe dat people actually pay money for dis stuff!! I twied to way down and go to sweep wike Awi, but I couldn't cause eberytime I tried to sweep, den someone else would come on da magic box and screech!! Awi woke up a few times when dis happened and waffed at me. Den she would go right back to sweep.

I wouldn't eben give dis movie one bowl of bonalla ice cream!! Mom said dat I'm just being a baby and she gave it 5!! She said dat it was weally good, so maybe we just weren't watching da same show!!

For da record. I am not a sissy dog!! I am a bully!! I just wanna make sure eberybudy is straight on dat fact!

Busy wooking for band-aids for my ears,

Baywee

(No bully should buy dis movie for dere mommies for mother's day!! Twust me on dis one!!! Don't wisten to your mommies. Day don't know good music!!)